Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get the other person interested in you."

How many people in your office do you really know? How many times do you enter the lift with the same person yet never even acknowledge them? Do you walk past co-workers' desks and never nod your head or say hi? What a sad way to work. When you do strike up a conversation with someone, does it filter out quickly after the first few words?

It seems so many people don’t know how to make small talk. It may sound simple, but Alison Lester and I conduct regular Communication skills workshops, and we’ve noticed that small talk is one of the most difficult things for many people. One big thing you can do to help yourself in making small talk is to practise your door-opening skills. These are small things that will open big doors to better conversation and healthier relationships. Try these:

1. Non-verbal door-openers

Offer a sincere smile, nod to show you are following what the speaker is saying, show real interest, look concerned when appropriate.

Really use your facial expressions with these non-verbal door-openers. Raise your eyebrows when appropriate to open your face, frown to show concern, smile with your eyes as well as your mouth.

2. Verbal door-openers

Say things like Right, I see, Oh really? That’s interesting, Wow!

Verbal door-openers are one or two words that, with the appropriate facial expression, say, “Tell me more!”

Once you’ve got the hang of some of these basic door-opening skills, you can learn to ask more questions that allow the other person to provide more information. When you receive more input from the other person, you can use more door-opening skills and ask better follow-up questions. In doing all this, you are not only learning more about the person you are speaking to, but you are showing them they are important and respected. Everyone likes to feel important and respected.

Start today to practise these door-opening skills. It doesn’t take a lot of effort, and the rewards will be so worthwhile. Making an effort to gain eye contact, spark up a conversation, smile, even just nod and say 'hello' is also a much more enjoyable and rewarding way to spend your day.

Drop me a line and let me know how it goes!