I've been enjoying my weekly slots on the radio for the last few weeks, and boy oh boy it's been fabulous to get your feedback. I'm glad you like it! Thanks to Suzanne Walker from WKRZ 91.3 for inviting me to join her in the Morning Glory show every Tuesday morning 9-10am.

If YOU have any questions on any aspect of Communication Skills that you would like me to address in the show, please write to me at shirley@shirleytaylor.com. I'd love to hear from you.

If any communication is to be complete and effective, of course the words you use (whether oral or written) need to be chosen carefully. But remember, communication is two-way - we've got to learn to be a good listener too! Without learning to be a good listener, you're unlikely to achieve understanding.

Think about it. It's not just speaking that conveys meaning - how the other person listens also conveys meaning to the other person, and this helps to make the exchange successful . . . or not! There's hardly any point in someone talking if no-one listens to what is being said. Listening is half of oral communication, and it is a skill that needs to be practised and taken equally as seriously as speaking and writing.

Most effective leaders and managers realise the importance of acquiring good listening skills, so if you are aiming to climb the ladder of success, this is something you need to take seriously. The consequences of not listening carefully could be disastrous.

Good listening skills will give you an edge in life and at work. However, if you are to become an effective listener, it's going to take more than just desire and enthusiasm - it's going to take a huge conscious effort.

Here are my suggestions for how you can improve your listening skills:

1. Prepare to listen. Clear your mind so that your attention is assured.
2. Avoid pre-judgement. Do not pre-judge the speaker because of appearance or occupation, and do not jump to any conclusions before hearing what is said.
3. Be open-minded. Appreciate the speaker's point of view and accept that it may not necessarily agree with your own.
4. Establish eye contact. This shows that you are listening, as does your posture and your facial expressions.
5. Don't interrupt. Try to keep emotions out of it, and hold any counter-arguments until the speaker has finished.
6. Watch for signals. Pick up aspects that the speaker considers important by watching posture and gestures, as well as listening to intonation in the speaker's voice. This is like listening to the 'music' as well as to the words.
7. Judge content, not delivery. Appraise the content instead of the speaker. Consider the main points and ask if they make sense.
8. Extract key points. Pick out and repeat to yourself some key words or phrases. This will help to fix in your mind what is being said.
9. Give feedback. Learn to give positive feedback non-verbally, perhaps by nodding or smiling, to let the speaker know you are following what is being said. Be alert and make an appropriate comment or ask a question if it will help your understanding.
10. Block out distractions. Fight distractions and competing thoughts, by working hard at listening. You may need to close doors, turn off a television or radio, or move closer to the speaker.

One of the features of my new book Communication for Business 4th edition that I'm glad to say is proving very popular is the A- Z of Bloopers, Blunders, Common Errors and Clichés. These are featured at the end of each unit in the book.

Here are my A-Z of Bloopers for this month:

Kindly
I was on an aeroplane recently when the stewardess announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be landing at Singapore Changi Airport. Please kindly return to your seat and fasten your seatbelt."

Please and Kindly together? We don't need them both - and certainly never in the same sentence!

Kindly is definitely a great-grandfather word that we should not be using in the 21st Century. Use Please instead. Avoid phrases like "I would be grateful if you would" or "I should appreciate it if you could". Just say 'Please'.

Luggage Luggage is an uncountable noun. It should not be written as luggages. This word should be written with a singular verb.

For example: My luggage was lost when I flew to Bangkok recently.

The same goes for baggage, equipment, furniture, staff, information and clarification. Can you think of more?

Here I am in September with the first group of fabulous participants from Aviva General Insurance at our two-day "Power Up Your Business Writing Skills" workshop. I'm looking forward to meeting the next two groups from Aviva this month.

Have a super October, and I'll be back in your mailbox again early next month.

Shirley xxx